Let’s just get straight to it: this machine lives up to its name. I’ve been playing with the Fuck Yeah Machine for a few days now and, well… oh my god. Fuck. Yeah.
This isn’t your average sex machine. It’s a beast. Built by someone who looked at the market and said, “Why is no one making this?” And now? Here it is. A hardcore, precision-controlled, premium sex machine that delivers exactly what the extreme toy enthusiast dreams of.
We’re talking:
- 350W power supply
- Servo controlled operation
- 18″ stroke length
- Adjustable speed, stroke length, and stroke position on the fly
- Pre-programmed patterns — and the ability to create your own
It doesn’t give up. It doesn’t struggle. It just goes.
Assembly
The machine arrives in two sturdy, well-packed boxes with fitted foam inserts. Be warned — it’s heavy. The main unit weighs around 20kg, so plan accordingly if you need help lifting or moving it.
Inside the main box, you’ll find:
- The machine body
- Sliding face plate
- Control box
- Power cables
- Vac-u-lock attachment
- Manuals
- And a few extra fittings and fasteners
The second box contains the legs — essentially scaffold bars and fittings that build the support structure.
🔧 Assembly Process
Putting the machine together is surprisingly straightforward. Here’s the step-by-step:
- Assemble the legs — The scaffold-style supports go together with a few included connectors and tools. It’s intuitive and solid once built.
- Attach the frame connectors — These mount to the main machine body.
- Mount the face plate — This secures to the slide arm using four machine screws.
- Add the Vac-u-lock adapter (optional) — It bolts directly onto the face plate.
- Connect the power cable — The cable is generously long, so no need for an extension lead. A small but thoughtful detail.
- Plug in the control box — You’re nearly ready to play.
Once powered on, you’ll be prompted to register your machine online and complete a quick calibration. From box to play-ready, setup takes about 30 minutes — though I recommend taking your time and checking everything thoroughly.
Pro Tip: Prepare Your Play Space
Positioning matters. I’ve been experimenting with a large bean bag — it gives me the flexibility to shift, rotate, and reposition without needing extra supports or cushions. It’s surprisingly versatile and keeps things comfortable during longer sessions.
The First Ride
For my test run, I picked a John Thomas depth trainer — smooth, long, thick, and perfect for extended Fuck Yeah sessions. These machines aren’t built for 3-minute sprints. They’re made for slow, ritualistic preparation and long, transcendent experiences. And, with that in mind I had to back up my play session with my only choice for lube, the Amsterdam Professional High Flyers Lube for a long and slick ride and full of goodness that leaves you feeling refreshed after.
I kicked off with a short stroke at 20% speed, gently easing into the sensation before gradually increasing the stroke length. Within minutes it was sliding in and out, a full rhythmic plunge that left me blissed out and breathless. Relaxation first. Stimulation second.
Then I played with the patterns — 10 presets and a world of possibilities. Changing stroke length and position while cycling through the modes revealed endless sweet spots. And once I started climbing on and thrusting back, the machine pushed right back — no hesitation, no faltering. Just raw, relentless drive.
Designed for the Extreme
This thing is heavy-duty in more than weight. It responds to resistance. It can keep going during orgasm, even while you’re convulsing against it. And yes — it has an emergency stop dial (press in the 4th knob), so you can always disengage safely.
It handles the biggest toys like a dream. I’ve seen it in action at Stretch, pushing some of the most intimidating insertables with zero struggle. It’s a machine that keeps up.
Is It Worth It?
Let’s address the obvious. The Fuck Yeah Machine is not cheap — around £2,800. But here’s the thing: I’ve burned through plenty of machines that couldn’t meet my standards.
I tried a Fredorch — a similar design, but a fraction of the stroke, far less power, and absolutely no chance of taking my preferred toys. It did ok for orgasms, but not for limits. It wasn’t built for serious players.
This is. If you’re a content creator, pro domme, performer, event host — this is your Lamborghini. Rugged, reliable, smart. It pays for itself in satisfaction, performance, and durability.
If you’re a high-level butt slut? Same story. There’s nothing else in this league, and trying to find workarounds will only leave you frustrated and out of pocket.
For casual players? It might be harder to justify. But if you’ve used machines before and found them lacking — this is the upgrade you’ve been waiting for.
Final Thoughts
The Fuck Yeah Machine, when you absolutely, positively gotta smash every dildo in the room…..Accept no substitutes
It’s safe to say that this and certain combos of toys are going to become my new boyfriend and I have a feeling it’s going to be a give and take relationship.
The test drive was everything I hoped for and more. I’ll be exploring more toys and setups soon, and I might even post an update. For now, it’s back to the sodomy I go.
This machine isn’t just called the Fuck Yeah for laughs. It earns the name.
If you want to get yours then head on over to https://fuckyeah.uk/
Want to see it in action? Follow me on FapHouse and stay tuned for full sessions filmed with the Fuck Yeah Machine. Let’s take things deeper — together.
No responses yet